What creates a toxic person?
People are often toxic because they're not interested in being stable and healthy in relationships. Another sign of a toxic person is no boundaries. If you've been clear with someone time and again about your needs, and they just can't help themselves but to disrespect you, they are toxic.
Definition of Toxic Personality from WEB MD – A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life.
They know they're being toxic, but refuse to acknowledge it. Because they feel they are not the one who's wrong, it's always other's fault. They blame others for their situation and condition. And most toxic people are self centered and have high ego.
- Listen To The People You've Hurt. ...
- Acknowledge Your Harmful Behaviour. ...
- Accept Responsibility For Your Actions & Be Accountable. ...
- Don't Be Afraid To Be Vulnerable & Ask For Help. ...
- Commit To Change. ...
- Don't Expect Forgiveness. ...
- Forgive Yourself.
- Avoid playing into their reality. ...
- Don't get drawn in. ...
- Pay attention to how they make you feel. ...
- Talk to them about their behavior. ...
- Put yourself first. ...
- Offer compassion, but don't try to fix them. ...
- Say no (and walk away) ...
- Remember, you aren't at fault.
If you've addressed toxic behavior with the person exhibiting it and they have taken it to heart, it's possible for toxic people to change. “Toxic people can absolutely change,” Kennedy says, “however they must see their part in the problem before they are likely to find the motivation to do so.”
Controlling. One of the most dangerous traits of a toxic person is controlling behavior. They may try to restrict you from contacting your friends or family, or limit resources like transportation or access to money to restrict your ability to interact with the world around you.
- “It's not a big deal” or “You'll get over it.”
- “You're just like your father.”
- “You always ... ” or “You never ... ”
- “You're doing it wrong. Why can't you just do it my way?”
- “I am done.”
- “You're too sensitive.”
- Not saying anything.
- They're manipulative. ...
- They take more than they give. ...
- Their apologies aren't sincere. ...
- They don't listen to you. ...
- They make you feel bad. ...
- They are self-defeating. ...
- They abuse their power. ...
- They use the word “I” incessantly.
- Overly controlling behavior. ...
- Lack of trust. ...
- Feeling low self-esteem. ...
- Physical, emotional, or mental abuse. ...
- Substance abuse. ...
- Narcissism. ...
- Anger management issues. ...
- Codependency.
Can a toxic person stop being toxic?
Even the most toxic people can improve their behavior patterns, so long as they make an earnest effort to understand themselves and become more compassionate.
- They are judgemental and critical. ...
- They gossip a lot. ...
- They gaslight you. ...
- They are dishonest. ...
- They are often angry. ...
- It feels competitive. ...
- You're left feeling drained after spending time with them. ...
- They guilt trip you.
- You're always sarcastic.
- You deal with conflict in a roundabout way.
- Everything is a competition.
- You turn everything into a joke.
- You want to fix everyone and everything.
- You secretly crave disaster because of the care you receive from it.
Self-centered
Toxic people care mostly about themselves. They don't think about how their actions affect others and believe they are better than everyone else. Someone who is self-centered is focused on getting what they want and is unlikely to compromise or consider another person's point of view.
Toxicity can present itself in any close relationship: friends, colleagues, family members, or partners. Red flags can be signs of narcissism, aggression, victimization, or even abusive behavior.